Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
