the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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