Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We are all done wearing pants today
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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