idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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