Did you just see the Batmobile???
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
