u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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