And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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