My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
