47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
