Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
