I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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