I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
