mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize