I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
