It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i out mim tonsoeep
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