I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
