woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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