Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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