he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
