We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
