the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Please don't give away my fajitas
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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