I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
