She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
