I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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