They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize