too bad you live with your parents still
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
