Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
