he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize