WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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