i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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