its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
