32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
