You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
