You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
