Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
