I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
