yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
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he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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