Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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