Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
