College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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