What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
