I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
