Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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