On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
