I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
