So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
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Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
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After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize