And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
