Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
please come you make the beer taste better
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize