btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize