he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
