I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We had sex on a dog bed..
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