I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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