oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
