I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
