Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
