In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
