She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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