so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
