she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm getting married
To pizza
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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