road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
false alarm, still single
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
